Today I wore a sanitary pad in my knickers because I thought my period was going to arrive. At the time of publishing this blog post, it still hasn’t done so, but I have been thinking a lot about period sex. Is it fair to say that I have a dysfunctional relationship with my menstrual cycle. I definitely am not always on speaking terms with my vagina, but I can deal with my periods – just about.
Content note for periods and blood, so if that will squick you out you might want to take a pass on this one.
I mean, apart from the pain and the hormones, which both play havoc with my already delicately balanced mental ilness. And apart from the irregularity. If someone ever taught my period about regular cycles or calendars were, it definitely wasn’t listening. To be honest, it was probably fantasising instead of paying attention, which seems somewhat ironic being that my vagina is involved in very little of my sex life.
Irregular periods, for me, means sometimes much too frequent – like, say, bleeding for three weeks in a six week period – or confusingly absent – like today when my last period finished over six weeks ago and my body feels like it’s about to start bleeding again but doesn’t. I was on the pill for about ten months, but my depression meant I had to wave bye-bye to nice, regular periods and control over when I bleed in favour of more stable mental health.
No longer being able to even slightly predict when my period would arrive, which I could on the pill, is slightly inconvenient in terms of fucking. As an eager slut who frequently travels to spend time with her play partners, I never want to say no to sex just because I’m on my period… so I often end up having period sex. I’ve had people give me excellent head that make me squirm and beg, and afterwards they complained more about the sanitary pad smell that was hanging around my cunt than about the blood. I’ve had painful canings while keeping my knickers on so I could keep my pad firmly in place, and shivered when dominants told me that they’d have to go harder to make up for the fact that they couldn’t work on the canvas of my bare ass.
I love sex on my period, though I’m usually more horny in the days before my period. Pre-period horn is probably the reason I’m craving sticky, bloody sex today, because at the moment it feels like my body is dragging out the days of arousal and bloated cramps before I actually start bleeding. The only thing that distracts me from the dull ache in my stomach is flashes of fantasies featuring blood and sweat and heat.
Today I’m craving raw, primal fucking. Usually I want sex despite the blood; today I want sex because of the blood. I want to see my blood on a glass dildo, chunks of uterus lining showing that the toy has been deep inside me. I want someone to pull out of me, their dick dripping with my period blood, and then lie on top of me, pinning me to the bed while their still-hard cock smears blood over our stomachs. I love when that happens with their come, and today I want it with my blood.
I’ve never even worn tampons, so while putting sex toys inside me is almost an impossible fantasy right now I do often hunger for penetration during my period. I can imagine that things will be slicker, lube mixing with blood as someone slides inside me. I can forget that the first time I set out to finger myself I was on my period and I couldn’t do it because it wasn’t wet or easy, it was dry and it hurt. That doesn’t stop me from picturing someone finger-fucking me until I come again and again and again and then holding their fingers – stained with my blood – up to my nose so I can have a good sniff of my menstruating cunt.
What about a gang bang? I’m bent over a table in a garage, so it doesn’t matter that there is blood running down my legs or splattering on to the concrete floor. Someone spits on their dick and pushes it inside roughly, but the blood makes it slippery. They take turns to fuck me from behind, hurting me with straps and calloused hands because the pain makes me clench around their dicks and let out guttural groans. Each time one of them comes inside me, I feel more greasy and sloppy and used. Later, one of them will press my face into the mess I’ve made on the floor, all come and blood and wetness, with one of their strong boots and call me a slut when I inhale deeply and get wet instead of blushing with disgusted shame.
I’m don’t want sex where I have to hide or ignore the fact I’m on my period, I want to fuck in a way that celebrates what my body is doing. Today I am dripping for period sex, even though I’m not dripping red yet.
I’d like to leave you with the glorious Period Sex music video by Rachel Bloom from her comedy-drama show Crazy Ex-Girlfriend. I love the show because talks very honestly about mental illness, relationships, and sex – including the kind where you might have to venmo your partner money for the mess you’ve made of their sheets:
I’m also proud to be joining in with A To Sub Bee’s new sex writing meme, Menstruation Matters. You should definitely go and check out other stories of the good, the bad, and the bloody:
Quinn Rhodes (he/him) is a queer, trans, disabled sex writer with vaginismus. He’s a slut and a sex nerd who writes about his adventures in trying to fuck without fucking up. Quinn can usually be found wearing stomp-on-the-patriarchy boots while falling in love every time he fucks.