Single, poly slut seeks to improve her hand job skills

A thick blue and green sparkly dildo with a masturbation toy and hand wrapped around it. Photo.
Godemiche’s 8-inch Adam dildo and Off-Beat masturbator.

As a sex blogger, enthusiastic pervert, and single, polyamorous slut, I think quite a lot of time thinking about dicks. This most is definitely inspired by thinking about dicks… and also by an adventure to a sex shop, when I realised that working a masturbation sheath up and down a dildo isn’t dissimilar to the sensation of wanking someone off. I was really excited when Godemiche sent me one of their fabulous Adam dildos to review.

My vaginismus means I can’t actually put the Adam inside me, ruling out a more traditional review. And besides, so many other brilliant sex toy reviewers have already done that. I proposed a review-with-a-twist to Godemiche – I’d review their Adam dildo from the perspective of someone who wanted to use it to work on my hand-job skills. While you should totally check out the links above, you should also read on for my signature quirkiness…

Standard sex-toy stats

Godemiche are a brilliant, sex-positive, UK-based company who make colourful, body-safe toys. I already own a handful (butt-ful?) of their butt plugs and anal toys, but this was the first time I got my hands on one of their dildos. The dildo they sent me was the Nebula Galaxy 8-inch Adam with a suction-cup base – and I absolutely love it.

A blue-green sparkly dildo standing on it's base. Photo.All of Godemiche’s dildos are made of 100% Platinum Silicone, so the Adam is non-porous, body safe, hypo-allergenic and durable. It also comes with a lifetime guarantee (though it does contain glitter). The Adam is available in a 6-inch size as well, and with flat and vibrating bases. It also comes in so many different colours and patterns, and I have a not-so-secret goal of owning toys in all of the different Galaxy collection styles.

Godemiche also sent me their brand-new (ish) masturbator – the OffBeat. The OffBeat is Godemiche’s first toy for penises, and it is also made of completely body safe silicone. It’s available in grande and venti seizes – 5cm and 10cm in length respectively – which left me feeling a little like I was ordering a coffee in Starbucks. The width of both toys is the same, however, with the hole’s diameter at approximately 3cm.

I got my hands on a clear Standard OffBeat that I thought would be perfect for my experiments in vigorously wanking the Adam dildo off. I’ve also used it with a play partner to great effect. It is, however, important to note that as the OffBeat is a silicone toy, and so you need to use a water-based lube when playing with it. As I write this review, the Adam has been suction-cupped to my desk for about a week. I have gotten through quite a lot of lube in that time…

Review-with-a-twist: Godemiche Adam and OffBeat

The Godemiche toys arrived in a discrete brown box, with little packaging to be thrown away. When I took unwrapped my new dildo, I delighted in its sheer size and sparkly-ness. Honestly, it took a little while for the OffBeat to get unpacked, because I was having great fun orally acquainting myself with my new toy. (Specifically seeing how much of it I could fit in my mouth.)

Aside from being a thing of beauty, the Adam’s design is inspired by real genitals. This is especially clear when you look at the dildo’s head, which is very realistic in a way that makes me lick my lips. It’s visually appeal, with wide glans, a delicious curving coronal ridge, and a definite frenulum. The toy is very firm, and while it’s flexible it doesn’t have much squish. I can imagine that using it for penetration would make you feel very full.

My goal, however, was to enthusiastically masturbate it.

Godemiche OffBeat next to it's tub. Photo.When I settled down to serious reviewing and opened the OffBeat, I was charmed by its squishy silicone and fun inner texture. I also laughed at the warning on it’s tub – and quickly proved that it was very, very true. The Adam is a quite a thick dildo – just over 4cm in diameter – and it took a generous helping of lube to pull the OffBeat over it’s head.

As I predicted, using the OffBeat to wank off the Adam was fun. I used the suction cup to stick it to the dIt felt a lot like giving a hand job to a bio-dick, with the gentle resistance that you’d expect if you were wanking someone off. It required concentration, and to keep going for any length of time required strength and stamina… which are all skills I want to improve on.

While I theoretically know that all bodies are different, playing with the Adam and OffBeat really hit this home for me. I’m a polyamorous slut who plays with a number of different partners, all of whom like different things, but knowing how to touch and pleasure one partner doesn’t mean that same technique will work on someone else. After this clicked for me, I did my best to jerk off the Adam in all the ways my partners with dicks like their dicks to be touched.

In the last week or so, I’ve been doing five minutes of enthusiastic dildo wanking every day before my morning shower. (A shower will wash away the stickiness of the lube, and inspired by the cunt-teasing slick and sucky sounds of the OffBeat I will often fantasies about shower sex…) And in terms of my proposed review of the Godemiche Adam? I think that five minutes are making a difference. As well as having so much fun playing with the toys every day, I also feel like my wrist and forearm strength is slowly building up.

Being ‘good’ at sex

I wanted to see if using toys would help me gain the basic skills so I can jerk someone off for longer, with greater consistency, without my arm getting tired. When I’m giving a hand-job, I often find that my wrist feels weak and not up to the pace that my partner wants and I want to give. I’m hoping my single, polyamorous slut “work-out” with the Adam and OffBeat will help my hand-sex stamina.

My desire to use the Godemiche toys to improve my hand job skills, is because I’m a sex nerd who is always eager to experiment with different ways of having sex. In fact, while I say ‘improve’, I don’t actually think being ‘good’ at sex is that important. Open communication with your partner(s) and a desire to learn about their body and meet their needs will see you on your way to ‘good’ sex far more than an advanced hand-job technique will.

What I’m saying that you can’t be bad at sex – in my opinion at least – if you approach it with enthusiasm and a willingness to talk (and listen) to whoever you’re fucking about your fucking.

To me, enthusiasm is the most important thing. Ultimately, I think the brilliant colours of the Godemiche toys help with this – there is something magical (and not-too-serious) about playing with a a sparkly, galaxy dildo. Using and reviewing both the Adam and the OffBeat felt wonderfully playful –  messy dildo wanking is joyous and a little therapeutic.


Thank you to Godemiche for sending me these toys free of charge in exchange for my honest review! This in no way influences my opinions, which are very much my own, and there are no affiliate links in this particular post. I have super excited about their products here because I had so, so much fun using both the Adam and the OffBeat. 

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  1. Love it. That’s a fun chance to gain a little hand strength and have fun doing it! Thanks for the review. This is a gorgeous beast!

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