I’ve been taken notes of brilliant content I’ve consumed (or, more accurately, inhaled) this month, so I thought writing a round-up of July’s best sex-positive shit would be fairly easy. And then I had a stupidly-fucking-long week, wherein I both moved flats and had a mental illness bump (to put it mildly)… all of which leads to a late (and also short) Share Our Shit
Though I admit that I maybe should have gone home after Ros Ballinger’s Edinburgh Fringe show last night – it was awesome and you should totally buy tickets and go watch her doing comedy about threesomes, kink, and bisexuality if you’re anywhere near Edinburgh in August, because she’s fucking BRILLIANT – instead of having cocktails with blogging friends. So, here are my highlights of July’s sex positive shit – I hope you’ll forgive me for the last of detail, and instead go and give these wonderful humans the click-y love they all deserve.
Kate Sloan has written some brilliant posts this month, but this one is just incredible. It opens with the line: “Gender is a sex toy. That’s not all it is, but it can be that.” and – if it’s possible – gets better from there. Kate writes about how it’s possible to affirm gender through sex and some of the ways she has explored this in the past, but also a little about her current partner’s exploration of their non-binary-ness. It reads a little like a love letter, and it’s fucking beautiful.
Coffee and Kink – [Guest Post] Anxiety and Sex: How Panic Attacks During Sex Led to Me Getting the Help I Needed by Ruby Bell
Ruby Bell is back in my Share Our Shit Saturday post again this month, this time guest blogging for the wonderful Amy Norton about sex and mental health. Her writing is powerful and real and she talks how having panic attacks during sex are not unexpected (brain-chemistry wise) but are awful – even if it can lead to greater vulnerability between you and your partner, and helped Ruby seek out the help and support she needed.
I can only imagine how hard this one was for Molly to write, and I have so much respect for her for putting these words on the internet. I’ve learned SO MUCH from Molly’s writing – including that polyamory is a Real Thing That People Do – and I have so much awe for her vulnerability as she talks about changes in her relationship. It feels like an incredibly brave step – to take and to write about – and I really hope they’re able to breathe through everything together.
This episode was SO FULL of amazing information and stories of Bex’s adventures at a New Jersey kink conference. I don’t think I’ll ever make it across the ocean to the TES fest, but after this episode I a) really want to, b) feel like I kind of was there, or at least got a sense of what the conference was like, and iii) am again inspired to get out into my local kink community and read more sex-nerdy books about kink.
In the Smutlancer Spotlight this month is Kayla, because I love every Smutlancer podcast episode but I listened to this one exactly when I needed to hear what she had to say. She reminds us to keep going and not wait for our work to be ‘perfect’, and that we’re improving all the time. Kayla always inspires me and gives me confidence to publish all the words and photos that I don’t think are good enough.
Quinn Rhodes (he/him) is a queer, trans, disabled sex writer with vaginismus. He’s a slut and a sex nerd who writes about his adventures in trying to fuck without fucking up. Quinn can usually be found wearing stomp-on-the-patriarchy boots while falling in love every time he fucks.