
I’m so behind right now – not only with my blogging (I have so many filthy and feminist-y things to share with y’all), but with life admin, self-care, household tasks, and my uni work. This has been written while I hide in blankets and ignore the fact that I probably need to be focussing on so-called “more important” things. Because after all, it’s important to tell you about my first finger fucking.
No content notes, but a quick PSA: y’all should use more lube while giving hand jobs because it’s the fucking tits. There are affiliate links though, and yes, that was one. Go lube folks!
In their room I strip quickly. My bra matches my skinny jeans, and my knickers match my bra. All three are bright red: the colour of my sex nerd cuffs, the colour of the boots my sex-blogging self wears in my blog’s sidebar. I feel bold when I wear red – so powerful and confident – but the way my partner looks at me makes me feel incredibly vulnerable too.
The outfit I’ve just discarded was carefully planned, because I’d wanted them to see me and think about fucking me. I was pretty sure that I wouldn’t get to blow them in the gents’ bathroom, but I’d wanted to look so tempting that they couldn’t help but think about it. As much fun as it was to flirt and tease them earlier, this is the part of the evening that I’ve been looking forward to most. When we’re together and (almost) naked, ready to fuck.
We burrow into each other, and I can’t help smile because touching them like this is so good and so easy. Cuddling never stays as just cuddling for long, though, and soon their hand is working its way down over my arse – casually groping me, mmmfff – and end up between my legs. I flinch with excitement and arousal, not sure if I’m pulling away from the fingers or seeking them out. I’m facing them, but I’m so lost in the sensation that I have to ask them to repeat the question they’ve just asked me: is this ok?
I nod, but when it comes to folks touching my cunt I want to make it clear that my consent isn’t only there but is deeply enthusiastic.
“Yes. It feels good. It feels dirty, actually, you touching my cunt from behind.”
They grin, the kind of grin that suggests they’re about to say brilliantly filthy things to me. They trace my labia for a moment, then press their fingers against my cunt again. Specifically the vagina part of my cunt – my fuck-hole. I squirm because it does feel dirty. Dirty and good and really, really hot.
“Yeah? You feel dirty, do you? Why is that?”
They’re sadistic, making me put it into words, but I do as they press harder – rubbing and thrusting against my cunt. It feels so good that words are hard, which they know.
“Yes. It’s because you’re reaching behind me and coming from the back – it feels wrong, a bit like your violating me? But it is so good. Don’t stop.”
They smirk.
“Oh yes? You feel like a dirty little bitch with me touching you like this? Are you getting off on fucking yourself on my fingers, you filthy bitch?”
Part of me swoons because their words are perfectly designed to turn me on more. Most of me, though, is focused on how good their fingers feel through the red lace of my knickers. By this point I’m all but humping their hand, needing more of that glorious pressure that walks a line between pleasure and pain. It hurts a little bit, but in a satisfying way. I want more of it.
At that moment I’m too busy squirming and whining to think coherently about it, but as they pull away to check in again – they’re such a gentlethem – I realise that I’m being finger fucked. It feels the first time that a partner is really finger fucking me, even though their fingers aren’t inside me. I’m a sex nerd who loves exploring ways I can fuck without vaginal penetration, but not-penetration so close to my vagina had never felt so good.
I don’t usually like folks touching my vagina – not even a finger pressed lightly against its opening, even if there’s no possibility of anything being pushed inside. But lying entwined with them, last night I couldn’t stop grinning. I bury my face in their neck and ask – and then ask again, while blushing and looking at them in the eye – for more. For them to keep fucking me with their fingers.
Fuck, even saying those words is incredibly hot.
Later other things happen: I bite their neck and twist their nipples while they jerk themselves off; I lick their come off their stomach and spit it into their mouth; and they punch my butt while cuddling me tightly. But even though it happened first, it’s the finger fucking that stands out – it was a new sex experience, and it was spectacular.
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Quinn Rhodes (he/him) is a freelance journalist, sex writer, and professional transsexual. His work focuses on dismantling shame and queering sex.
Yay! Discovering new pleasures is always so exciting. Bravo for the excitement engendered by sexy red knickers!
I don’t think I’ve ever been happy (and maybe even proud in a weird, big sisterly way?) of someone else getting fingered (with or without panties) but I absolutely AM!
Also, for me, that color is purple. I feel sexy and myself and like the other person should DEFINITELY want to fuck me when I wear purple. Which is a bit awkward as I *always* wear purple, lol.