Sharing sex positive shit: January 2020

Desk space featuring laptop and coffee cup on top of a pile of papers. Photo.

A monthly Share Our Shit Saturday post worked pretty well for me last year, so my plan is to keep going with this blogger positivity format in 2020. As well as trying to write more this past month, I did my best to read more as well, and I definitely have some fabulous sex positive shit to share with y’all from January 2020.

As always, titles are links – please click away and give these brilliant bloggers some love.

The Other Livvy – Fourth Trimester Sex (After Birth): Numb and Unknowing…

This post is incredibly important – though also a slightly hard read for my vagina – because it talks about the realities of sex after giving birth. Livvy writes with vulnerability and honesty and she shares her experiences of fucking while her body is still recovering from childbirth.

“Even in books written BY women FOR women, the malign hand of the patriarchy was hard at work – yep, you’ve guessed it, they only really looked at ways to make post-partum sex work for the benefit of the penetrator rather than the penetrated.”

Super Smash Cache – 4 Common Misconceptions About Sex Bloggers & Sex Toy Reviewers

Some common myths about sex bloggers – i.e. we’re always down to fuck and are sex-party-going extroverts – are beautifully debunked by Cy in this post. I felt really seen by her discussion of the assumptions sex bloggers are tired of people making.

“Myth: sex bloggers have a lot of sex with a lot of people… Fact: Sexual expression varies from person to person, and sex bloggers try to normalize that.”

Coffee and Kink – Masturbation Monday: “Small Hands”

Any erotica that starts with the line “This is not the first time I’ve fucked my husband’s girlfriend.” is definitely my sort of thing, and this one is super hot. If fisting, intimacy, and threesomes are your thing, you’ll love this (possibly even enough to make you wank over it like I did).

“Anna wants to try being fisted, but she’s scared to let me do it because my hands are too big. So I came up with a creative solution. You’re going to do it for me. I’m going to use you and your small hands to fuck her.”

Kelvin Sparks – 5 Ways I Improved At Online Dating

One of my 2020 sex goals is try dating apps, so I found this post super fascinating, because Kelvin compared his past and current online dating experiences and some of the things he’s noticed about what he’s doing differently this time.

“On hookup and cruising apps, I’m clear about what I want even if it’s in a different way. I say that I don’t like being penetrated by my sex partners but I don’t mind power dynamics going either way, that I really like topping for strap-on play and fisting and that I like being a sadistic D-type.”

Jayne Renault – Oh, for the love of blow jobs

Blow jobs are one of my favourite things, and I loved reading Jayne’s post where she shares her experiences from early fears and insecurities about oral sex, through the dynamics of having a dick in your mouth, to the power and confidence of cock sucking.

“What I’ve determined is that it’s not because I merely want to impress my lovers, though that is still a big factor. My respect for and command of cocks is something to reckon with and I love to show off for the people I really like.”

The Smutlancer – How to Handle the Mistakes You WILL Make as a Smutlancer

In the Smutlancer Spotlight this month is another post that I really struggled to read but was really important. We all fuck up sometimes, and knowing how to handle it when we do and need to apologise is something I’m definitely still learning.

“When you attempt to deflect someone else’s hurt or anger by saying, “But I didn’t mean it” you make your intent more important than your real life impact on another human being.”

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This month I’m sending Sexy, Shiny Stickers to everyone who supports me on Patreon – long-term patrons AND folks who sign up today. You still have six days to pledge and get your hands on this sex-positive perk! 

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