As I write this it’s only eight days until I’ll be in London, trying not to throw up from excitement and nerves. Why? Because Eroticon 2020 is next weekend and this time next Friday I’ll be asking my enboifriend to help me lace myself into a borrowed corset before we head to the Meet and Greet together. But, as always, Eroticon starts with a virtual meet and greet, to help remind us that the conference is closer than any of us realise.
Content note for mental illness and an unhealthy relationship with parents.
Seriously, how are we only eight days away from Eroticon 2020?! I swear I was way more prepared last year.
NAME (and Twitter if you have one)
I am Quinn Rhodes, and my pronouns are ze/hir. Phonetically, that’s ze rhyming with ‘bee’ and hir sounding like ‘hear’ – I promise I won’t be annoyed if you accidentally misgender me, but Eroticon is the first event I’m attending since coming out as trans and I’m super excited to use my new pronouns. I’m @OnQueerStreet on Twitter – come say hi.
Tell us 3 things you are most looking forward to at Eroticon 2020
Again I must ask, how can you expect me to pick just three things?
- The flirting. I’m going to Eroticon as a grown-ass professional sex blogger, of course, but there are some very cute (and very queer!) folks who’ll be attending. My enboifriend is a speaker this year, so I’m pretty sure I’ll have sex with them at least once over the weekend, but there’s also a few other play partners and friends who I’m down to flirt/make-out with/fuck if they’re up for that. And I’m taking my not-so-mini sex kit in case opportunities arise for spontaneous strap-on sex with a subby guy I’m into.
- The learning. I’m not going to Eroticon as a speaker this year, so all I have to do is sit in sessions and soak up all the sex-positive knowledge and sex-blogging tips being shared. I am a huge sex nerd: I bring a notebook so I can take notes in all of the talks, but I know I also learn a lot from just talking to people. Eroticon is a magical place because it lets us connect and share knowledge, and I know I’ll learn tonnes from all the incredible folks who are attending as well as those who are running sessions.
- The inspiration. From Molly’s Welcome on Saturday morning I know I’ll be filled with enthusiasm and energy for what I do. I left Eroticon 2019 with so much motivation to do big, brilliant, sex blogging things, and I’m pretty sure that I’ll leave Eroticon 2020 with just as inspired to continue making sex-positive content. Last year I pitched ideas at the Saturday night social, live-tweeted sessions, and spent the whole weekend absorbing sex-positive energy. It’s amazing.
Sadly with a change of venue this year for the Friday night meet and greet we won’t be compiling a play list but I know that everyone enjoys that bit so…. What is a song that always makes you want to dance?
I thought this was the only question I’d be able to answer easily this year, and then you changed the question. There are lots and lots of songs that always make me want to dance, but a lot of my current playlists are made up of ‘ready to take on the world’ songs that make me feel powerful and motivated. So this is a song that makes me want to take up my space in the world AND dance.
What is the best book you have read in the last 12 months?
I don’t think I can remember any of the books I read in 2019, so I’m going to have to go with one of the books I’ve read so far this year. The first book I read in 2020 was The Mental Load by Emma. It’s a book of feminist comics and it’s fucking brilliant. She talks about maternity leave, domestic violence, the clitoris, the violence of the medical world on women during childbirth – some of the comics had me punching the air at finally having words to express shit I’ve experienced before, and some of them had me uncomfortably (but necessarily) examining my own privilege.
As you sit writing this post what are three things you are grateful for?
This one is definitely the hardest question this year – there are loads of things in my life that I’m grateful for but it’s a bad depression day and thinking is hard. I’m going to simplify it by sharing three things I’m grateful for that are on my desk as I’m writing this.
- Books. I’m trying to get back into a reading habit this year, and I have so books about queerness, gender, and feminism that I cannot wait to read… when I have time.
- Sex-positive artwork. Specifically a newly-framed ‘Every body is beautiful’ print by Charlotte Wilcox that I picked up at the Vagina Museum in February.
- Sex toys. I have three sex toys sitting on my desk right now – my much loved AMO, plus two that are still in my ‘to review’ pile. Sex blogging is awesome.
What is your mobile (cellphone) wallpaper or home screen image?
I have two phones. My personal (or “vanilla”) phone’s is a photo of me wearing the sweatshirt my enboifriend bought me for my birthday and laughing as I stick my tongue out at the camera. I look AWFUL in it, but the playfulness and happiness it captures make it a moment I want to remember: it was the first time I really knew I was experiencing gender euphoria.
My Smutlancer phone has a photo of the Eroticon mugs I already have from past conferences! Girl on the Net’s quote “Your words can change the world” is incredibly inspiring, and the photo reminds me of the amazing community I’m part of, and why I love sex blogging so much.
If someone gave you £5000 today which you were not allowed to save but had to spend within 24 hours what would you do with it?
I would buy my dream packer, a FitBit, a new Doxy, a fancy leather strap-on harness from Sh! Women’s Store, a block of yoga classes, and my first binder. Do you think I could do all of that and buy a plane ticket to New York? There’s a cute sadist I’ve been flirting with recently who lives on the other side of the Atlantic ocean, and I’d love to combine my first adventure to the USA with sucking their dick.
Complete the sentence:
… financial independence. That’s not a fun answer, but it’s the single thing that would make the biggest difference to my life right now. Right now I’m dependant on my parents while I’m studying at uni, and I live in fear of them finding out I run a sex blog (again) or that I’m a genderqueer slut. I know I have a lot of privilege and I should be grateful that my parents are supporting me, but that money comes with strings attached. I would love to be able to have a relationship with them on my terms, and not feel sick with anxiety every time my phone rings.
This is another reason why I love Eroticon: I can be myself for a whole weekend without hiding or censoring myself, and I’m learning how to be better at sex blogging so I can take baby steps towards making money from my sex writing.
I’m trying to apologise less, so I’m not going to say sorry for ending this meet and greet post on that slightly sadder note. Being vulnerable in my writing is a big part of my sex blogging though, so this feels on brand. I’m also a depressed mess right now, so I can’t guarantee that I will be super-slutty, excited-about-sex Quinn all weekend. However, I know it’s a place where folks will totally understand that, and that I’m struggling with mental illness. Eroticon is the fucking best, y’all.
Aah, I’m so excited for Eroticon 2020!
Quinn Rhodes (he/him) is a queer, trans, disabled sex writer with vaginismus. He’s a slut and a sex nerd who writes about his adventures in trying to fuck without fucking up. Quinn can usually be found wearing stomp-on-the-patriarchy boots while falling in love every time he fucks.