Quite a bit of my erotica is set in coffee shops, because they’re my favourite place to write and I get inspired by the different ways I wish I could fuck there. I really miss my productivity when I work around other people, which I obviously cannot access during lockdown. However, in mourning this part of my pre-COVID routine, I ended up writing about some of sexy things I can no longer do in coffee shops.
Content note for semi-public sex and mentions of Starbucks.
Sexy things I can no longer do in coffee shops
I can’t write filth.
I’m still writing smut, but it’s definitely hard to focus right now. I’m completely blaming lockdown for this, because I’m out of all of my writing routines and finding it harder to write. Usually when I’m struggling, I’ll head to a coffee shop and take advantage of the productive environment to sit there with my laptop until words start flowing again. I miss it. There’s something really fun about using the wifi in Starbucks (which actually blocks my sex blog) to write sexy smut. I make sure to not show anyone my screen, of course, but I definitely get off on the perviness of writing porn in a public place.
I can’t listen to kink podcasts.
Ninety percent of the time when I’m trying to be productive in coffee shops – whether or not I’m working on my sex blog – I’m listening to kinky podcasts. At home I put on podcasts and just struggle to focus or take anything in. Listening to them in coffee shops helps me concentrate on the clever things my favourite sex nerds are saying about kink. Again, I enjoy the fact I can secretly listen to something filthy while in a public place, and it often gives me ideas for scenes I want to do or smut I want to write.
I can’t watch the clips of you touching yourself.
I can never make myself wait when my phone pings with a video from you. Even though I know I shouldn’t watch porn in a coffee shop, I plug my earphones in and watch you edge yourself. I shield my screen so no one else can see the video that I replay again and again, but I can’t stop the huge grin from spreading across my face. It’s so hot to hear your little whimpers and occasional fuck that escapes when your dick is achingly hard and you have to pull your hand away entirely so you don’t accidentally come. When I’m not in public I can jerk off over the clips you send me, but it’s harder to adopt the dominant role and order you to ruin your orgasm when I’m busy desperately stroking my own dick.
I can’t sext.
This sounds counterintuitive, but when I’m trying to be productive it helps for me to have one distraction that I allow myself while I’m working. Doing just one thing doesn’t interrupt my flow and actually makes me focus more than if I try to just work for hours, and my favourite thing to do while being productive is to sext. I mean, sexting is one of my favourite things to do full stop, but there’s something really hot about crossing my legs and ignoring my own hard dick to craft words that I know will tease and turn on whoever I send them too. I love how I can be having sex and fuck my partners even when I’m sitting in the middle of a coffee shop. Sexting from my bed while wearing boxers and a too-big t-shirt is fun, of course, but it doesn’t carry the same sense of taboo.
I can’t read books about sex.
I can obviously still read books about sex – and I am making my way through all of the sex and kink books that I own but haven’t read yet. The thing I’m missing is the focus that reading in a coffee shop can give me: when I’m in my flat I can see the pile of laundry I haven’t put away yet or the sink full of dirty dishes. When I’m sitting in a coffee shop it’s easier to give myself permission to just sit and read. I miss sitting down with a hot chocolate and a book all about orgasms: I’m far too restless to get properly stuck into Come As Your Are during lockdown. When I’m at home, it’s also far too easy to discard an education book for some porn and my vibrator – a temptation that I cannot succumb to if I’m in a coffee shop.
I can’t wear a butt plug.
Technically I probably couldn’t do this, even if we weren’t in lockdown. At the start of the year, someone I was flirting with discussed whether they could dom me into doing some anal training. I’ve definitely discovered some new ways that having things in my arse feels really fucking good, but I haven’t really built up any stamina to wear them for longer yet. There’s something incredibly hot to me about wearing a butt plug while out and about in public – especially if I’m doing so because I’ve been ordered to by a cute, toppy human. I’m pretty sure doing this would put me in a submissive headspace and make me feel connected to my partner – as well as it being super fun and slutty in the best way. This is going on my list as a sexy thing I’m going to prioritise working on so I can do it when I’m allowed to go to coffee shops again.
Want to help me make sure I can actually afford Starbucks when we’re allowed out in the world again? Supporting me on Ko-fi means I can spend more time in writing filth and (discretely) doing other sexy things in coffee shops.
Quinn Rhodes (he/him) is a freelance journalist, sex writer, and professional transsexual. His work focuses on dismantling shame and queering sex.
