Fucking while wearing period pads

An afab person with their legs open, wearing blue knickers with the wings of a period pad showing. Writing on their body says 'spank my boyhole' and 'tease my dick'. Photo.

Periods aren’t gross, but I still don’t feel sexy when I’m wearing period pads. I don’t avoid period sex because I get super horny when I’m menstruating, but I do find it much harder to get out of my own head. As Lingerie is for Everyone is all about embracing your body and your underwear, today I’m going to talk about fucking while wearing period pads.

Content note for menstrual blood and period sex. This post also contains affiliate links.

I have vaginismus, so I can’t use tampons or menstrual cups, which means that clinically scented pads are ever-present in my period sex. That’s fine during solo sex, when I can detach from my body and press my junk against a powerful vibe until I get off, but when I’m fucking someone else my period pads are always annoyingly present. I feel self-conscious and struggle to actually engage with the sex I’m having.

It’s not just that they can see the wings of the pad. Especially when I’m naked apart from my knickers, my pad feels awkward and rough against my skin. It’s there to absorb my menstrual blood, but it also feels like it absorbs my arousal and leaves my cunt dry and uncomfortable. I love dry humping or grinding against a partner, but when I’m wearing a pad those things become slightly painful at best, because my genitals rub against the scratchy absorbent material between my legs.

So why don’t I just take my knickers off and put down a towel? Well, my vagina anxiety means I often leave my knickers on when fucking anyway, and it’s even harder to take them off when I’m worried about getting blood on my partner’s sheets – or my partner themselves. I know that my period isn’t gross… but sometimes I wonder if I’ve internalised society’s messages that it is gross, just a little bit.

I’d like to tell you that I’m a bad ass feminist who only fucks folks who are down to have period sex with me, but in reality I always text a partner ahead of time to let them know that I’m menstruating. I’ve never been with anyone who didn’t want to fuck me when I was on my period, but I almost expect them to say no. I’m so over being subtle about my period – let me yell from the rooftops about my cramps and my increased need to poop! – but I still find it harder when it comes to having sex.

When you look at this photo, do you notice my pad? When I look at it, it’s almost all I can see. I had to stop myself from swiping awkwardly past it on my phone, feeling strangely grossed out by my own body. It was taken during an incredibly hot, gender-affirming fuck, but it’s hard to remember giggling with my enboifriend: I look at it and remember the moment of lying back on their sheets and actively trying to forget that I’m wearing a pad.

Even when NBae was making me laugh and squirm as they wrote instructions for use on me, a tiny part of me still felt uncomfortable. I’m so ashamed of that shame I feel, even though I know I shouldn’t be. I’ve always been told that my period is dirty – never explicitly, but the implicit messages thrust upon people socialised as femme are powerful and hard to unlearn. I know that menstruation isn’t gross, but I’ve been taught that you’ll think it is.

That internalised misogyny is why I will sniff my vibrator after having a wank, because the period blood mixed with my wetness smells really good. In the last two months when I’ve ditched pads in favour of free bleeding into my boxers towards the end of my period, I’ve not only felt so much more comfortable but actually turned on by the smell of my junk. I want to carry that energy into period sex, not a sense of shame.

I’m sharing this photo because I look hot regardless of the pad in my knickers, but also to remind myself that I can do things differently. I can ask my partner if they’re comfortable with me taking my knickers off, and potentially getting a little messy while we fuck. I can use lube if I’m going to keep them on. I’m starting to transition away from one-use pads to reusable period products, which I hope will make everything about my menstrual cycle feel less clinical.

If I feel gross fucking while on my period because I wear period pads, I can do something about that. I can challenge my shame with communication, lube, and being brave enough to take my knickers off. The next time I have period sex, my priority is replacing feeling uncomfortable with feeling connected to my own body.

I just needed to blog about it first, so I can’t back out of actually doing it.

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Lingerie is for Everyone is run by the brilliant Violet Fawkes. Click on the logo to see what lingerie folks are wearing this week!

Grab some supplies for fucking while on your period from The Pleasure Garden! Orgasms reduce cramps, so I’m going to recommend the Doxy wand massager, and for solo sex when you don’t even want to put your hand near your junk, try grinding down on the Ruby Glow

Send noods: new boxers and crying while I take nudes
Photos can't capture how I fuck you

7 Comments

  1. Love this post <3

    I can fortunately wear a menstrual cup (which has been mentally quite a shift and I would hate to go back to a cup-less life) BUT before that I had switched to cloth pads and period underwear (lunapads does—did?—make a boxer brief style that I love if that’s your thing) and highly, highly recommend. They’re waaaaay more comfortable than the one-uses.

    1. Right there with ya! I use soft disc cups. They fit completely over the cervix, do you can still have sex. I love them!

  2. I absolutely get this. I know I’m a sex positive person and I know I want to openly discuss periods more because they aren’t gross or taboo. And yet they still feel gross and messy to me!

    I find pads exaggerate that so I prefer to use tampons instead. But they just absorb everything so I feel all dry and horrible. Free bleeding doesn’t work for me because getting the sofa cleaned is expensive!

    I am interested in how you get on with Cloth pads though.

  3. “I’m so ashamed of that shame I feel, even though I know I shouldn’t be.”
    Oooof. I relate to this so much, not just around periods (which I don’t get anymore – thanks IUD!) but I certainly understand this feeling baout menstruation as well. This is a great post and I don’t think that the pad takes away from the image at all, if anything it makes it more compelling and interesting. Thanks for linking up!

  4. Fantastic image, Quinn!

    I adore the fact you tackle subjects straight on and this image just shows how sexy you can be even with a towel on.

    I can deeply sympathise with everything you said relating to towels. I hated them. I swapped over to a cup a few years back and it changed everything for me. Before that, I was a pad user as I had the coil in. I suffered with leg rashes and everything.

    I really hope you manage to have better success with the reusable versions <3 x


  5. Really great post! I loved reading it. I get a lot out of your posts in general.
    Your candidness is refreshing. 🙂

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