Smashing the patriarchy with self-care

A gender-ambiguous person stands on a log, naked apart from a t-shirt with a trans pride flag and the words 'the first pride was a riot'. Their arse is prominently on display and they're surrounded by woodland. Photo.

“If you’re a woman of colour, a hijabi in the West, not heterosexual or cisgender, or live with a disability, literally every waking moment is patriarchy smashing.”

~ Burnout, Emily and Amelia Nagoski

I’ve just finished reading Burnout and this quote really stuck with me. I love the idea that just by existing I am fucking up patriarchal structures, because I live in a world that tells me that I shouldn’t exist as a queer, trans, disabled person. It makes me feel powerful, which is something I’ve been struggling with recently. And if everything I do is an act of resistance, taking time to self-care is also smashing the patriarchy. Somehow, that makes it easier to justify to myself that I’m allowed to take a break.

“Caring for myself is not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation, and that is an act of political warfare.”

~ Audre Lorde

The last week has been really hard, and I haven’t listened to my friends when they told me that I needed to look after myself. Today I listened to them. Today I bought hot chocolate and I didn’t wear underwear and I sexted with people who make me hot. Today I read the first few pages of Your Silence Will Not Protect You by Audre Lorde. Today I listened to my body, putting away my laptop in favour of adventures that left me with dirt under my fingernails and incredible new photos of me getting naked outside.

Today I looked after myself, and that self-care – which means I can keep writing, keep fighting, keep being outrageously queer – is a patriarchy smashing act.

Sinful Sunday badgeSinful Sunday is run by the fantabulous Molly Moore – click the kiss for more sins…

This fabulous shirt was designed by Ashe of Rose Glass Photography – they’re a brilliant queer and non-binary photographer. Check out their RedBubble store for more awesome ‘The First Pride Was A Riot’, ‘Black Lives Matter’, and ‘Queer As In Fuck The Police’ designs, 100% of the profits from which are being donated to relief and bail funds for BLM protestors. 

I can't describe my gender identity in one word
Review: The Butters Hygienics Aloe x Shea lube


  1. You smashed it and keep on smashing it every damn day. Well done you! This is such a triumphant image. Love it.

  2. Everytime you do things that don’t fit into society’s ‘norms’ that is exactly what you’re doing. I love donning those stompy boots and smashing it to bits.

    That said we need to remember the world isn’t going to change over night so we need to look after ourselves as we go.

    Cute bum btw

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