“If you’re a woman of colour, a hijabi in the West, not heterosexual or cisgender, or live with a disability, literally every waking moment is patriarchy smashing.”
~ Burnout, Emily and Amelia Nagoski
I’ve just finished reading Burnout and this quote really stuck with me. I love the idea that just by existing I am fucking up patriarchal structures, because I live in a world that tells me that I shouldn’t exist as a queer, trans, disabled person. It makes me feel powerful, which is something I’ve been struggling with recently. And if everything I do is an act of resistance, taking time to self-care is also smashing the patriarchy. Somehow, that makes it easier to justify to myself that I’m allowed to take a break.
“Caring for myself is not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation, and that is an act of political warfare.”
~ Audre Lorde
The last week has been really hard, and I haven’t listened to my friends when they told me that I needed to look after myself. Today I listened to them. Today I bought hot chocolate and I didn’t wear underwear and I sexted with people who make me hot. Today I read the first few pages of Your Silence Will Not Protect You by Audre Lorde. Today I listened to my body, putting away my laptop in favour of adventures that left me with dirt under my fingernails and incredible new photos of me getting naked outside.
Today I looked after myself, and that self-care – which means I can keep writing, keep fighting, keep being outrageously queer – is a patriarchy smashing act.
This fabulous shirt was designed by Ashe of Rose Glass Photography – they’re a brilliant queer and non-binary photographer. Check out their RedBubble store for more awesome ‘The First Pride Was A Riot’, ‘Black Lives Matter’, and ‘Queer As In Fuck The Police’ designs, 100% of the profits from which are being donated to relief and bail funds for BLM protestors.
Quinn Rhodes (he/him) is a queer, trans, disabled sex writer with vaginismus. He’s a slut and a sex nerd who writes about his adventures in trying to fuck without fucking up. Quinn can usually be found wearing stomp-on-the-patriarchy boots while falling in love every time he fucks.