Not a woman

A trans guy wearing black knickers with stars on them, his arm under his tits and his hand on the side of his chest. The words 'not a woman' are imposed on his arse. Photo.

I’m not a woman.

Sometimes I hate that people look at me and see a woman. I hate that people see my tits and hear my voice and assume I’m a woman. I hate that sometimes I feel like I can’t expect anyone to gender me correctly unless I present more “traditionally” masculine.

I know that my tits are masculine. I’m a man, so my body is inherently masculine, but that doesn’t mean that I don’t feel dysphoric about my chest. I know my body is a guy’s body, but the world doesn’t.

So I hate that I can’t access hormones yet, that long waiting lists for gender-affirming healthcare mean it will be years until I can start testosterone. I hate I can’t even afford a binder right now. I hate that I feel like I deserve to be misgendered because it’s on me to get rid of the curves that scream ‘woman’.

I’m not a woman.

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3 Comments

  1. You are amazing and I hope you get the treatment you need and deserve to make your life a happier and healtier for you

    Molly

  2. I hear you loud and clear, just remember through it all, no matter what other people say and do, you are you and you are a man…with a great arse!

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