I tried to follow this advice and take a nude with bows on my nipples. It felt wrong and the pictures didn’t work, but I didn’t realise why until I sent one to Molly Moore for her opinion. She suggested I move the camera lower, focussing on my dick with the red bows as my balls. With her directing me, I snapped photos that made me feel masculine and strong and sexy as fuck.
I still fall into the trap of trying to be ‘sexy’ as a woman when I’m not one. Sometimes I don’t notice that I’m trying to make myself attractive to other people at the expense of feeling good about myself. I worry that cis men, in particular, won’t find me attractive as a guy, so I choke down the feelings of wrongness. After all, what value do I have outside of my fuckability? I need them to find me attractive, because that’s how I know I have worth.
Except it’s not, of course.
Unlearning that is hard. Believing that I have value is hard, especially when my depression bran lies to me. I’m also still figuring out how to be sexy as a guy. It’s not that men can’t take nudes with bows on their nipples, it’s that I was only doing it to perform my sexuality for other people. It’s far more powerful to take nudes where I know I’m hot as fuck, and don’t care whether other people agree because I feel so right in my own body.
Merry Christmas you lovely fuckers. Here’s to more dick pics in 2022!
Quinn Rhodes (he/him) is a queer, trans, disabled sex writer with vaginismus. He’s a slut and a sex nerd who writes about his adventures in trying to fuck without fucking up. Quinn can usually be found wearing stomp-on-the-patriarchy boots while falling in love every time he fucks.