When I start thinking about them, my chest gets tight and my eyes start smarting. It hurts, and I can’t get away from that pain yet. It’s too raw, too all-consuming. I try not to think about them, because thinking about them feels like someone’s ripping my heart out through my throat. You know when it’s hard to think about your broken heart? When you’ve stuck a massive chunk of silicone in your arse and are trying to work out if it feels good. (Spoiler: it does.) Enter the Hot Octopuss PleX with flex, a vibrating butt plug.
The Hot Octopuss PleX has been sitting on top of my bookshelf since before we broke up (for the second time). I haven’t been putting off reviewing it because I’m heartbroken, I’ve been putting it off because I’m mentally ill and putting things in my arse takes effort. Anal play isn’t part of my average solo sex, which tends not to go much beyond me unbuttoning my jeans just enough to slide a vibrator into my boxers. I’m much more interested in filling my arse when there’s someone calling me a filthy slut while I do.
A lot of my interest in anal play is rooted in the fact that I can’t put anything in my vag. While partners fucking my mouth is one of my favourite parts of sex (and I’m very good at blow jobs), sometimes I wish they could fuck one of my other holes. Butt plugs are fun, but they’re also a stepping stone as I work up to being able to get fucked in the ass. Training my ass is something I’ve discussed a bit with a few play partners, and something I thought I was going to get to do more of with them.
Preparing to put the Hot Octopuss PleX in my arse
The Hot Octopuss PleX comes out of its box fully charged, so I don’t have to worry about finding the USB charger and pushing it at the perfect perpendicular angle into the base. When you turn the toy on, using a little button on the side of the base, it vibrates twice and a green light on the bottom of the base flashes to let you know it’s ready ready and waiting for you to put it in your ass. Or your partner’s arse, if you haven’t just broken up.
The PleX comes with a small remote, so you can seamlessly switch between settings without having to use the buttons on the base. Like Girl on the Net I don’t have a screwdriver tiny enough to unscrew the battery housing on the remote and remove the bit of plastic from the battery. That doesn’t stop me from thinking about its uses though, about public play where my partner is plugged and I’m holding the remote and teasing them with vibrations throughout dinner in a fancy restaurant.
For a second, the fantasy – the way I can vividly remember how their ass smells – makes me forget. Then I remember and it feels like I’ve run into a wall. I can’t breathe. Maybe it’s just as well that I can’t get the remote to work: it’s not like I have anyone to use it with now.
I put a towel down on my bed, and try not to think about the fact it’s the side of the bed that they used to sleep on when they were here. I try not to think about how much I want them here now, telling me to bend over and spread my legs. In fact, I try not to think at all. Instead, I feel.
I feel the smooth silicone of the slim butt plug with its tapered head. The PleX is less than 3cm at its widest point, and its bulb shape is designed for pinpoint prostate stimulation. I feel the slickslickslick as I lube up the plug, and it definitely doesn’t make me think about jerking them off. I feel the anticipation that twists in my stomach as I hold the plug. With an insertable length of 11.5cm, the PleX is the biggest thing I’ve ever put in my arse – and there’s no one to call me a good boy when I do.
Treble and Bass Technology™ that makes me squirm
I warm up first, using a smaller vibrating butt plug and grinding on a vibrator. I tease my body into arousal, into horniness. Then I get on all fours on the towel, leaning back and teasing myself with the tip of the PleX against my asshole. I do my best not to imagine that they’re there, watching me, ordering me to plug myself for them. It would be hotter if they were there to call me a filthy slut but it’s still hot.
I push the head of the PleX into my arse, and suddenly I feel the hungry feeling I love when I play with butt toys. There’s always a moment when I’ve pushed a little bit of the toy in and suddenly my hole feels hungry to be filled, almost sucking the rest of the toy in. It’s a feeling that makes me feel especially slutty. I keep sliding the toy inside my ass, feeling the initial discomfort as it stretches me out. Even with warm up, it takes me a few minutes to adjust to being filled.
Then I turn it on. The PleX is made with Hot Octopuss’ patented Treble and Bass Technology™. It has dual motors: the intense Treble in the head of the vibrator, the rumbly Bass closer to the base. It’s a clever combination of one high- and one low-frequency vibrator working in tandem, and it feels really good in your ass. The dual motors can be controlled and work independently of each other, so you can fine tune them for exactly the kind of vibrations that work for you.
You can do this either via the remote, or the buttons on the bottom of the vibe. There are four of them, which I feel out with my lube-y fingers. A power button for the Treble and Bass motors respectively, and ‘plus’ and ‘minus’ buttons to increase and decrease the intensity of the vibrations. Maybe it’s my lack of experience with anal play, but I couldn’t parse out a lot of difference between the different settings with more/less Treble and Bass. All I know is when both motors were on, it felt really, really good.
It makes me squirm.
At first, the discomfort bleeds into the other sensations, so I struggle to work out what I actually feel. But as I get used to the plug in my arse, I realise I’m squirming. I’m humping my hips, grinding against my vibrator, clenching around the plug in my arse. It feels good, in a way I didn’t expect it to. The vibrations thud through me. With the curve of the toy pointing towards my vag, this is the closest I’ve ever come to pressure on my g-spot, and I feel powerful.
I don’t come with the PleX in my arse, but I do cry
The ‘flex’ part of the Hot Octopuss PleX with flex is the base, which bends flexibly to move with your body. The base – while wide enough to make sure that I have no worries putting the PleX in my arse – is fairly thick. I couldn’t quite sit comfortably without feeling like the plug was pushing just a bit too far inside me. However, because I’m a pervert, all I can think about was someone taking pleasure in my discomfort and making me sit on it. Ok, all I can think about was them taking pleasure in my discomfort and making me sit on it. And eventually my body would adjust to the sensations and it would start to feel good, and they would call me a slut for liking it.
I really want them to call me a slut. I want to fuck them again so badly, and my heart breaks there and then because they have never seen my body like this. I’ve gained weight since they last touched me. My belly isn’t huge, but it’s there, spilling out a little over the top of my grey sweatpants. I love it, but I want them to see it, them to love it. I want them to kiss my belly and tickle my sides and stick their finger into my belly button because they know I hate it in a way that’s very, very hot.
As the PleX fills my arse, I think about them fucking me. I think about the point where my anal training where they can fuck my arse, when I can ride their dick. I think about slowly lowering myself onto their strap on while they call me good boy. Slut. Faggot. Little piggy. I let them touch places inside me that no one else has ever seen – metaphorically, not physically – and now I feel their absence so acutely. But that ache won’t go away, so instead I push the PleX into places that no one has ever touched before, and try not to think about them.
I don’t come with the PleX in my arse. I try to, jamming my vibrator against my junk and playing with the plug’s vibration patterns. There are five settings, which you can cycle through with the small button on the side of the plug’s base. I don’t come with the PleX in my arse, but I do cry. It’s hard to come when suddenly I can’t think of anything but how much I miss them. I miss them so much it feels like my heart is physically breaking. I inhale a shaky breath and try not to think about the fact I don’t know when I’ll talk to them again, if I’ll ever talk to them again.
In that moment, I don’t know how I can survive never talking to them again. Never being theirs again.
Did the Hot Octopuss PleX help me get over my broken heart?
The Hot Octopus PleX didn’t magically heal my broken heart. I wish that was possible, I wish sticking a chunk of silicone in my arse would make all the pain and heartbreak go away. What it did do, however, was distract me – just for a few moments – because the PleX is a very, very good butt plug. While plugging myself didn’t make me feel less empty and sad, it definitely made me feel less physically empty.
For a few moments, with the thuddy vibrations in my arse and a vibrator pressed against my dick, the physical sensations took over. For a few moments it was possible to escape my broken heart and surrender to the horniness flooding through my body. It was a good distraction, but it also felt good to do something physical to try and make myself feel better. It felt powerful: not that I needed to ‘reclaim’ my body, but I’ve been sitting with so much pain and sadness in my body, and putting something in my arse was something active I could do.
If you’re in the market for a vibrating butt plug that genuinely feels incredible in your arse – and I imagine even better if you have a prostate – I definitely recommend the Hot Octopus PleX with flex. The PleX is slim enough that it’s not too intimidating a plug for someone who wants to start exploring anal play. If you want to grab yourself a new butt plug, the PleX is £89.99/$99.95 – and right now you can get 20% off for Valentine’s Day with the code VDAY20.
Do not buy it with the aim of it fixing your broken heart – no butt plug can do that.
Quinn Rhodes (he/him) is a queer, trans, disabled sex writer with vaginismus. He’s a slut and a sex nerd who writes about his adventures in trying to fuck without fucking up. Quinn can usually be found wearing stomp-on-the-patriarchy boots while falling in love every time he fucks.