A young Black woman lies on bare sheets, clutching a pillow to her chest. Photo.

I’ve written about this before. It feels like this is all I write about right now – that I cannot create anything of worth to anyone else and I just keep spilling out self-indulgent essays on how I can’t stop thinking about suicide. In reality it isn’t, it’s the fucked up fog of lockdown and depression that twists time until I’m convinced that I only just wrote about this. And even if it wasn’t, I’m still allowed to write about it. It’s my blog, even if being a suicidal sex writer feels very off brand.Read More →

Young Asian woman lying on her bed staring blankly at the ceiling with earphones in. Photo.

Useless. Lazy. Pathetic. I’m very ill right now and we’re in the middle of a global pandemic, but that doesn’t stop me feeling guilty about everything I’m not doing. I’m burned out and exhausted, but the more time I spend trying to just take care of myself the further behind I get on everything else. This isn’t healthy, I know that logically, but logic doesn’t help right now. (Strap in for a super self-indulgent post, y’all, with a content warning for self harm, mental illness, and poor hygiene habits.)Read More →

Sad woman sitting in the corner of a room, head on the knees, face is hidden. Photo.

We’re finally talking about mental health. Not as much as we need to be, sure, and politicians will tweet #TimeToTalk while cutting the funding to NHS mental health services, but we’re at least started the conversation. But even though now we all know that it’s #OkNotToBeOk, it’s still really fucking hard to actually admit that we’re not ok.Read More →

Smart phone on duvet cover. Photo.

Before I started working on this blog post draft again, I thought I had answered the sleep or sexting? question that I’d struggled with when I first started writing it. My depression makes it hard enough to get out of bed in the morning as it is, even when I get enough sleep. The logical thing to do for my mental illness is to chose going to bed over late night flirting every time. And yet…Read More →

A photo of someone with short hair and a stripy sweater facing away from the camera and looking up at a concept board of ideas and plans pinned to the wall.

It’s Mental Health Awareness Week (and Mental Health Awareness Month I think?) so obviously I’ve been struggling with my own depression, anxiety and suicidal ideation this week. Mental illness impacts literally every element of my life, and I am still learning how to manage it and take care of myself. Perhaps the most surprising thing that helps is creating sex positive structure in my week. Content note for discussion of mental illness and anti-depressants.Read More →