When they go low, we monetise our pain. I said it a friend back in November: when they go low, we invest in ourselves and get paid to write about the things they hate about us. I meant it as a joke, but for all else 2020 has been it’s been the year when I stepped into my trans identity and I’m really fucking proud of that.
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Last week I wrote about how exhausting it is to be a trans person right now. I wrote about fear and anger and sadness and burn out and feeling numb. I’m really glad I wrote that post, but writing it – and some of the conversations that writing it sparked – reminded me that I can’t explain my gender in one word, or even in a simple sentence. My gender identity is changing all the time as I explore it, and I love that. (more…)
I said this earlier on Twitter, but I’m going to repeat it here: I do not have to be nice right now. I’ve tried being nice. Being nice right now makes me complicit in my own dehumanisation. I do not have to be nice to people who misgender me. Even knowing that, it is hard to give myself permission to be angry right now.
Valentine’s Day is here – the traditional day to talk about love, right? Except today’s also my birthday, so I’m going to talk about self love. I’ve fallen in love twice in the last six months. Once with my enboifriend and once with myself – which was far more of a surprise, to be honest. As were my new pronouns.
Valentine’s day is a Big Deal for sex writers and sex bloggers, but I traditionally celebrate a different significant day on 14th February. I know I still have a lot to learn – about myself and about sex – and I know half the things I want from sex and relationships right now will undoubtedly change, but I am proud of what I have learned about sex so far. So today I’m (consensually!) stealing an idea from my birthday twin, Kelvin Sparks, and sharing 21 things I learned about sex at 21.