If you asked me to describe my relationship with impact play, I’d tell you that I’m a pain slut with a low pain tolerance. I like getting spanked, but I can’t take as much pain as I’d like to take. The idea of pain is sometimes hotter to me than the pain itself, and I frequently feel like a fraud when I tell people that spanking is one of my biggest kinks. I do love being spanked, but I often have safe-word out sooner than I feel I ‘should’.
I’m dating someone. I’m in love in a way that I haven’t been before. It’s the kind of love in a way that makes me stronger, the kind of love that I wasn’t looking for when I unexpectedly stumbled into the arms of an incredibly attractive enby who actually likes me back. But in the less fun things that come with navigating my first romantic relationship, I also have to deal with the uncertainty: it’s not that I doubt that they love me – I know they do – but I do know they might not love me forever.
I love it when I can take enough pain to leave me with marks – even if they’re just fast-fading pink arse cheeks after a spanking. When my partner told me that this particular sofa spanking had left me with such marks, I quickly asked them to snap a photo for me.
My partner calls me a tease – a fair and accurate description given my investment in finding the words that will make them achingly hard and think about fucking me. But I remember, every time they say it with a fond grin or a playful groan, that for every person who affectionately calls me a tease, there’ll be another who’ll throw the words cock tease at me as an insult, or a justification.
“How would you feel about me making my relationship with my other partner Facebook official?” is quite a question. It falls under ‘questions life in a monogamous society doesn’t prepare you to answer’ if I’m honest. I’ll admit that as much as I have a fuck tonne of compersion for my enboifriend and their girlfriend – my metamour – I did have a small moment of jealousy.