A transmasculine gender-nonconforming person caressing the face of a transfeminine non-binary person. Photo.

I am a queer, trans, afab person with vaginismus who doesn’t have penis-in-vagina sex: according to society’s traditional definitions of sex, I’m a virgin. Let’s set aside the fact that virginity is a social concept used to control and shame women and afab folks. Instead, let’s discuss about why foreplay is a heteronormative idea that devalues vulvalic pleasure, centralises penis-in-vagina sex, and implies that the ‘aim’ of sex is the male orgasm.Read More →

A grapefruit half with the tip of a banana pushing into the middle - implying penetration. Photo.

I’m a sex blogger, but I hesitate to describe myself as a sex educator. I’dĀ like to be a sex educator, but I don’t feel like that’s a title I can claim because I simply don’t know enough. I’m a huge sex nerd, of course, and I spend a lot of time thinking and reading and asking questions about sex, but there’s so much that I don’t know… including some things about my own body, like whether or not I can have anal sex with vaginismus.Read More →

A post it note reading 'sexual health' lies on a yellow background with a metal alarm clock and matching paperclips. Photo.

I have a confession: I don’t go for STI tests every three months like a model non-monogamous sex educator should. It’s not about the shame or stigma around being a sexually active woman or having a positive STI status, I’m mostly scared of STI tests because they hurt. Maybe I shouldn’t share this, but right now I’m really struggling with my vagina.Read More →

Fingers in grapefruit, which looks like a vulva, on a red background. Photo.

I have a confession, folks: I’m a sex blogger who was still learning about her own cunt in 2019. Maybe that’s not surprising, given the lack of sufficient sex education in this country, but I’m still hugely embarrassed to share that I am still scared of my own vulva. And I feel ashamed to admit that, as someone who spends as much time as I do talking and writing about sex.Read More →

A lube-drawn heart and vaginal dilator sit on fluid proof sheet between someone's thighs. Black and white photo.

Today I’m super excited to share today’s post with y’all, and – if I’m being totally honest – I’m super proud that I got my hands on a set of Sheets of San Francisco fluid proof sheets to review! It’s a review-with-a-twist, of course, because right now I’m having fun approaching sex toys fromĀ unconventional perspective because IĀ can’t use them in the ‘traditional’ way because of my vaginismus.Read More →