A transfeminine non-binary person and transmasculine gender-nonconforming person looking at a phone with upset expressions. Photo.

“How would you feel about me making my relationship with my other partner Facebook official?” is quite a question. It falls under ‘questions life in a monogamous society doesn’t prepare you to answer’ if I’m honest. I’ll admit that as much as I have a fuck tonne of compersion for my enboifriend and their girlfriend – my metamour – I did have a small moment of jealousy.Read More →

Two people looking at each other, connected by a messy line around a heart. Graphic.

In a society that defaults towards monogamy (to say nothing of heteronormativity), I’ve recently been struggling to find the right terminology to describe my ethical-slut dating style and my partners therein. I’m a word nerd, but the poly relationship words I need to talk about the folks I’m dating, fucking and crushing on just don’t exist. Today I’m sharing five non-existing words I’d totally have used in the last week.Read More →

A transgender woman wipes tears off her face in a bathroom.

Writing this post made me realise that I could put a name to the frustration I feel towards myself whenever I’m crying over men. Namely internalised misogyny, which – as well as sexist, patriarchal societal structures – still plays a role in why I feel especially un-feminist when I get upset about men.Read More →

Coffee cups and chocolate croissants. Photo.

Today, folks, I have a confession for you: I’m still nervous about safe-words. Nope, not about using them – I will always tell a partner if I need them to stop. What I’m nervous about is that I sometimes ‘forget’ I have a safe-word, not in a consent-y way, but in a there-is-a-specific-word-that-lets-your-partners-know-you-want-to-stop-sex-now’ way, and a your-partner-has-safe-words-too’ way.Read More →

Woman lying with her back to the camera in a red bra. Photo.

I started writing this post late at night, with my ear phones in and music blaring in an attempt to not overhear the sounds of two people fucking. I wrote it while blinking back tears, refusing to cry as I struggled with lustful jealousy and a desire to be spanked by a specific sadist. I wrote it to process the emotions I was feeling, so this is probably a clusterfuck of a post – sorry folks.Read More →