Naked woman partially hidden with a blanket. Drawing.

There are so many words for masturbation. Being a horny pervert who wanks a lot – but also one whose biggest kink is for words – I have spent a lot of time thinking about the different ways you can describe jerking off. As it’s Masturbation Month, I thought I’d share some of my favourites with you, and some of the ones I rarely use. (Did you notice that I used three different ones in just this intro?)Read More →

Photo of an orange sweet pepper, with a prominent green stalk that puts in mind a certain piece of anatomy.

This week, I’ve spent a significant amount of time thinking about dick. Some might say too much time, but I feel it’s a totally valid both as a Smutlancer and as a sex nerd with serious horn. I don’t have anything clever or insightful to say today, so instead I’m sharing a list of all the places I’ve thought about dick this week.Read More →

A woman in shorts and hiking boots walks away from the camera across rocky ground. Photo.

For Hogmanay, I had a threesome. I sucked a lot of cock on the last day of 2018, and also made out with a pretty girl’s cunt. I kissed a tall sadistic perv and a cute girl within the first few minutes of 2019. This is the kind of queer, hedonistic energy that I want to carry into the rest of the year, so I’m setting myself some kinky goals.Read More →

To kiss or not to kiss, that is… well, that is never the part I struggle with. A much more difficult question is whether one should spend more time thinking (or wanking) over kisses that have happened, considering ones that didn’t and will never happen, or fantasising about those that are yet to come? Kissing has been taking up a lot of my thoughts today, in case you haven’t worked that out…Read More →

I wrote about some my first ever threesome a while ago, and even then I was eager to visit the wonderful couple in question again for more kinky fuckery. Every part of that adventure was brilliant, and there has been lots of flirting, dirty talk, and pictures of cats since then. I have plans to go and visit the Doctor (the gorgeous-as-fuck switch-in-the-middle in this couple) and Mr Nook (her extremely attractive partner) very soon, and I’m super excited. However, there’s a couple of things I really hope they won’t to do to me – things that good girls just don’t do.Read More →