Kinky goals for 2019: butt stuff and birthday spankings

For Hogmanay, I had a threesome. I sucked a lot of cock on the last day of 2018, and also made out with a pretty girl’s cunt. I kissed a tall sadistic perv and a cute girl within the first few minutes of 2019. This is the kind of queer, hedonistic energy that I want to carry into the rest of the year, so I’m setting myself some kinky goals.

Content note for discussion of breath play. 

In 2018, I discovered that I’m a hedonist. I want to do outrageous, kinky things. Embarking on those adventures makes me feel alive and brave and fearless, and I absolutely love it. I just sometimes struggle to find the courage to go out and chase those adventures.

Setting sex-related goals isn’t necessarily for everyone, but I’m a slightly anxious sex nerd who would prefer to curl up with her Doxy than go out and flirt with kinky humans. My kinky goals are different from the resolutions I did-but-kinda-didn’t make, but they’re still not “I’m going to do X sex thing” deadlines. They’re just kinky ambitions that I’m going to try and create opportunities to allow to happen to me in the coming year.

This isn’t an extensive list of my kinky goals, but all of them make my cunt wet when I think about exploring them in the coming year. Oh, and also being a bit of a nerd in other ways, my list features a wee bit of alliteration.

Bruises

I’m still exploring my limits when it comes to pain and impact play. Being spanked, beaten, whipped, caned, or flogged hurts so very much but I absolutely love it. Impact play isn’t just about the pain for me – though there is a chance that I might be a wee bit of a pain slut – it’s also about the control that someone has over me. My body is theirs, to use and abuse as they wish, and if they want to hurt me or mark me they can. I love enduring enough pain so my arse cheeks are red, because that’s a visual reminder of what’s been done to my body. Having marks that last until the next day, or bruises that I can poke days later and remember how I was beaten? That would be really hot.

Butt stuff

As I have vaginismus, I’m pretty sure I will be able to prepare my body to have anal sex before I am ready to have PIV. Penetrative sex isn’t on my fuck-it list for 2019, but I’d like to start training my body so I potentially could have it one day. The idea of wearing a butt plug because I’ve been told to, or even because I want to feel centred in my body and sexuality, is one I’m very into. This year I’d like to play more with my shiny new butt plugs and become more comfortable with having things in my butt.

There’s also at least one subby girl who I’d really like to fill with a butt plug so I can watch her squirm while I whisper filth in her ear.

Boots boots boots

That same subby girl is the reason why I’m going into 2019 not only hoping I be dominated by someone in strong, leather boots but also to dominate someone while wearing the new boots I got for Fuckmas. A few weeks ago I told the Writer that I’d been fantasising about him stepping on me and using his boots to keep me down. He replied that he liked the idea of pushing me back down onto the ground every time I try to get up and making me crawl whenever I’m around him. I like that idea too, and I hope we’ll get to explore it together. However, I also want to pair my black heeled boots with my black leather gloves to remind the gorgeous submissive girl that I’m very much the one in control as I make her tell me all the perverted things she wants me to do to her.

Breath play

This is something that I started playing with in the last year – at first on my own, by burying my face in the pillow while I orgasmed, grinding my cunt into my Doxy. The more I think about it, the more the idea turns me on. It’s a kink that includes elements of degradation and consensual non-consent and one that makes me squirm at the merest thought. I want to be gagged, choked, and I want to struggle desperately with one hand over my mouth and another pinching my nose until I begin to wonder if my partner will ever let go and let me breath.

Please note: breath play is incredibly dangerous and I’m really careful when playing with it even though my partner is experienced. Please do your research before even thinking about trying it and do not engage in this high-risk kink without lots of negotiation between yourself and your play partner(s).

Birthday spankings

I came close-ish to getting my butt spanked last year, so this year I’m determined to get proper birthday spanking. As I now have a number of kinky, pervy, sadistic friends, I really hope it’s possible to get someone to punch my butt this year to celebrate my birthday. Ideally, more than one person, because I’m a greedy little slut and would like a number of cute humans to spank me. I’m a wee bit terrified, both of having to organise a birthday spanking party for myself and of having to be vulnerable and sub-space-y around lots of people, but I want to make it a birthday to remember.

Quinn Rhodes

Quinn Rhodes (he/him) is a queer, trans, disabled sex writer with vaginismus. He’s a slut and a sex nerd who writes about his adventures in trying to fuck without fucking up. Quinn can usually be found wearing stomp-on-the-patriarchy boots while falling in love every time he fucks.