A guy in underwear lies on the bed, a woman kneeling over him holding a condom. Photo.

This is the question I kept asking myself. I miss my sex drive. In the past I’ve been told by friends that I have one of the highest sex drives of the people they know. I don’t recognised myself in that description anymore, and I wish I did. I want my sex drive back, but I’m not going to do something stupid to force it to kick back in. Something stupid like having casual sex to fuck my sex drive back to life. Quinn RhodesQuinn Rhodes (he/him) is a queer, trans, disabled sex blogger. He’s a sex nerd with vaginismus who writes about his adventuresRead More →

Top view of comfortable, perfectly made bed with emerald green pillows, fury duvet and closed laptop. Photo.

No. The short answer is no, no I shouldn’t be embarrassed that I wet the bed last night. That didn’t stop the horrified shame that spread though me when I woke up to find that while I’d peed in my dream I’d pissed in real life as well. For the first time in almost two decades I’d wet myself. Quinn RhodesQuinn Rhodes (he/him) is a queer, trans, disabled sex blogger. He’s a sex nerd with vaginismus who writes about his adventures in learning to fuck without fucking up. Quinn can usually be found wearing stomp-on-the-patriarchy boots while falling in love every time he fucks. ForRead More →

Three purple vibrators (a wand, a rabbit, and a bullet vibe) lie on an orange and yellow background. Photo.

The idea for this post arose during a Sex Ed Uncensored discussion – I’m getting a lot of content from Submissive Feminist’s weekly Twitter chat! We were talking about how you’d react to a new partner wanting to use sex toys during your first hook-up, and my initial answer was an enthusiastic ‘YES PLEASE I’M SO DOWN FOR THIS’. I managed to entirely miss out the nuance and questions you need to ask your partner before whipping out a vibrator (or a whip!). So, how should you approach discussing sex toys if you want to use them in a first time hook-up? Quinn RhodesQuinn RhodesRead More →

Colourful wooden blocks with phrase "SEX EDUCATION" on light blue background. Photo.

There is a lot I don’t know about sex. It feels weird to admit that, to admit that I’m a sex writer who has massive gaps in my knowledge. When I started sex blogging, I’m not sure if I felt a pressure to pretend like I knew everything or if I knew so little that I thought I did know everything. I’m not sure which of those is worse. I’ve learned a lot in the last few years, and I’ve learned that there’s a lot that I don’t know. I’m an unapologetic sex nerd and sex blogger… but I want to be a sex educator too.Read More →

Black couple in bed together, laughing and being intimate. Photo.

We talk about aftercare after kink scenes – like safe words, hard limits and safer sex practices, aftercare is fundamental part of our pre-scene elevator pitch. What I hear less people talk about is aftercare after sex, which I definitely need as well. Even if I’ve just given you a quick blow job, I need aftercare – specifically your assurances that I wasn’t terrible at sucking your dick. Quinn RhodesQuinn Rhodes (he/him) is a queer, trans, disabled sex blogger. He’s a sex nerd with vaginismus who writes about his adventures in learning to fuck without fucking up. Quinn can usually be found wearing stomp-on-the-patriarchy bootsRead More →

A queer couple lying on the floor next to each other, looking at each other and smiling. Photo.

Have you ever had sex when you aren’t fully enthusiastic about fucking? I expect most of us have – it’s not that you mind having sex at that moment, but you’d probably rather listen to a podcast or go for a run or eat buttered hot cross buns in your pyjamas. I want to talk about sex that we absolutely consent to, but that we’re having more out of obligation and awkwardness than because we really want to fuck. Quinn RhodesQuinn Rhodes (he/him) is a queer, trans, disabled sex blogger. He’s a sex nerd with vaginismus who writes about his adventures in learning to fuckRead More →