For this week’s Share Our Shit Saturday, I’ve collected three posts that all discuss a particular topic. Until recently I hadn’t heard of vaginismus (and please don’t ask me to say the word aloud!) but as I write this I’m almost completely sure that it is something I suffer from. Discovering that finding penetration painful is A Genuine Thing was so reassuring, and so I’m sharing the posts that helped me understand my body.
I absolutely have had sex, even if I haven’t yet experienced PIV. I’m not broken because I find it really fucking painful if anyone attempts to put anything in my vagina, no matter how aroused I am. For a #SoSS post, this is very indulgent, as I’m sharing things that have helped me feel more comfortable.
As always, titles are links – please click away!
This is an excellent post, which not only explains what vaginismus is and how it can be treated, but also gives advice for couples where one partner is suffering from vaginismus. It suggests issues that can arise from this situation, and offers ideas for how to deal with these and maintain intimacy within a relationship.
This is a wonderful personal post, in which Emmeline talks about her painful yet exhilarating journey from being unable to slip even a cotton bud inside her vagina to being able to enjoy penetrative sex through the use of sex toys. The post made me realise that there are things I can do to become comfortable with putting things in my vagina.
Although Aurora Glory has said she will never write about medical issues again, I found this post extremely useful. It gives clear definitions of different kinds of vaginismus, causes, and treatments, and helped me start thinking about the reasons why I might struggle with penetration.
Quinn Rhodes (he/him) is a freelance journalist, sex writer, and professional transsexual. His work focuses on dismantling shame and queering sex.