“I want to torture you. Consensually.” – words I sent to a friend last night. I hope the DM message made him smile. In fact, no: I hope it made him hard. This piece of smut, however, is for me, because I want to distract myself from the mess that my every day life is swiftly becoming with a fantasy. A fantasy where I can be confident, be in control, and cavort with dirty words.
I want to tie you up so I can torture you. Consensual torture, of course, because I know that’s what you want. I grin every time I remember how wound up you are right now, because I take delight in your suffering. And it’s your choice, this delicious game. It feels a little like a dare, trying to dominate you. I love the challenge of trying to find the right words and tap into the right kinks.
I want to be cruel and to giggle at your discomfort, because right now you’re in denial and I want to help. Oh, did I say help? I meant make things much, much harder for you.
It’s my new lingerie that’s making me feel so sadistic: the bra and suspender belt and flimsy stockings with a seam up the back. They’re all black and stylish and incredibly well fitting. Something about wearing suspenders – even though it takes me about half an hour to get everything fastened and tightened and secure – makes me feel confident and sexy. It makes me want to do mean things to you.
I want to cuff your hands together behind your back, so you’re completely at my mercy. I want to suck the very tip of your cock, my tongue paying close attention to your frenulum, so you moan and buck your hips and try to push further into my mouth. I’ll pull away and laugh, then tell you to bend over the arm of the sofa and spread your legs. I’ll lube up my fingers and stretch you – just a little. I want to fuck you gently with my fingers, talking about how fun it is to open your ass up like this, as though I’m going to peg you.
I want to stop, just as you’re wriggling and pushing back for more, and fill you with a large butt plug. I know you like prostate play, and I want to enact a scene that I’ve fantasied about ever since I first read something that made being dominant sound fun. I’ll help you sit on a chair, and watch you wince a little as the plug adjusts inside you. I want to watch your eyes widen as you realise what I’m going to do. I’m going to fuck you while you’re sitting on that chair, with a butt plug in your ass and my taunts in your ear about how you’re not allowed to come.
I don’t want to take the lingerie off, not the stockings or the suspender belt or the bra that makes my tits look fantastic. I want to fuck you when you’re completely naked and I’m not fully undressed. I need that confidence, from the knowledge that I look amazing, to keep playing this game. I can’t push you – can’t tease you or torture you or reduce you to a whimpering mess – if I’m not completely sure of myself. But I’m not wearing panties – which you’ll discover when I leave you filled and squirming to quickly strip.
You can see how wet my cunt is from torturing you – and from the knowledge of what I’m going to do next. You see, I want to straddle you and sink slowly down on to your cock. I want to make you keep your eyes open and watch as I let out a delicious sigh of satisfaction. I know that with your ass filled and it will be even harder to stave off your orgasm while I fuck you. And I want it to be hard – I want to grin against your neck as I grind my hips and hear the hitch in your breathing as you struggle not to come.
You don’t get to jizz inside me. You get to watch me fuck myself on your cock, my cunt clenching tightly around you. You get to beg me to stop, or beg me to let you come. You get to watch me get off while you struggle to hold back your orgasm. Doesn’t that sound like the most wonderful kind of torture?
Masturbation Monday is run by the fabulous Kayla Lords. Click on the logo to see what everyone else is getting off to this week.
I have some recommendations for sex toys you can use to plug your own ass. Make sure you use toys with a flared base and lots of lube, and if you are in the US you can get 10% off this butt plug by clicking the link below!
Quinn Rhodes (he/him) is a queer, trans, disabled sex writer with vaginismus. He’s a slut and a sex nerd who writes about his adventures in trying to fuck without fucking up. Quinn can usually be found wearing stomp-on-the-patriarchy boots while falling in love every time he fucks.