I can’t put things in my vagina. In fact, my vaginismus means there’s almost nothing hot to me about the idea of sitting on your dick – in fact that craving is so rare that I feel weird when I do want penetration. It’s a very particular mood, but that’s exactly the kind of horny I am tonight.
I’m trying to apologise less. I say sorry a lot: last week I apologised when someone pushed roughly past me on the street and knocked the post-GP-appointment doughnut out of my hand. It’s a much less sexy 2020 goal, but this year I have been trying to be conscious of how often I say sorry.
Valentine’s Day is here – the traditional day to talk about love, right? Except today’s also my birthday, so I’m going to talk about self love. I’ve fallen in love twice in the last six months. Once with my enboifriend and once with myself – which was far more of a surprise, to be honest. As were my new pronouns.
Valentine’s day is a Big Deal for sex writers and sex bloggers, but I traditionally celebrate a different significant day on 14th February. I know I still have a lot to learn – about myself and about sex – and I know half the things I want from sex and relationships right now will undoubtedly change, but I am proud of what I have learned about sex so far. So today I’m (consensually!) stealing an idea from my birthday twin, Kelvin Sparks, and sharing 21 things I learned about sex at 21.
It sounds silly and utterly cliche to say that falling in love has taught me to love myself more, but it has. WhileI want to be a good person, a person worthy of dating them, they look at me as though I already am. Self-acceptance is something I have always struggled with, but I’m slowly beginning to rethink the ways I see myself. I’m learning a lot from my first relationship – including that being needy isn’t a bad thing.