Have you ever had sex when you aren’t fully enthusiastic about fucking? I expect most of us have – it’s not that you mind having sex at that moment, but you’d probably rather listen to a podcast or go for a run or eat buttered hot cross buns in your pyjamas. I want to talk about sex that we absolutely consent to, but that we’re having more out of obligation and awkwardness than because we really want to fuck.
I am a queer, trans, afab person with vaginismus who doesn’t have penis-in-vagina sex: according to society’s traditional definitions of sex, I’m a virgin. Let’s set aside the fact that virginity is a social concept used to control and shame women and afab folks. Instead, let’s discuss about why foreplay is a heteronormative idea that devalues vulvalic pleasure, centralises penis-in-vagina sex, and implies that the ‘aim’ of sex is the male orgasm.
Social distancing and self-isolation has everyone talking about masturbation, whether they’re too stressed to have sex or are eagerly embracing wanking from home. For me, social distancing has come hot on the heels of a period frustratingly low libido. As I haven’t been coming much in the last month, I’m now actively trying to mix up my masturbation habits.
Patreon: the best way for artists and creators to get sustainable income connect with fans. Unless you create any sort of adult content, of course. Right now Patreon has no problem with me using their platform to help me make audio porn… providing that I don’t link to Patreon from anywhere I also express my sexuality. After almost a month of dealing with this sex-negative censorship, all I want to do is say ‘fuck you Patreon’.
Even before I had sex for the first time, I was pretty sure that I wanted to eat ass. Rimming comes up less frequently in my filth writing than it does in the sex I actually have. Even then, it’s something I enjoy infrequently due to the feasibility of any kind of anal play. As I stuck my tongue in my enboifriend’s ass yesterday, this seems a good time to talk about the practicalities of rimming.