I’m so behind right now – not only with my blogging (I have so many filthy and feminist-y things to share with y’all), but with life admin, self-care, household tasks, and my uni work. This has been written while I hide in blankets and ignore the fact that I probably need to be focussing on so-called “more important” things. Because after all, it’s important to tell you about my first finger fucking.
Reading a casual-fuck-partner’s old texts on a Smutathon wank break (less fun than a Smutathon fuck break, but more practical for a day of writing in the library) left me thinking about his dick. And my desire to one day sit on his dick, despite my vaginismus. But why is that particular sex act so intriguing: penis-in-vagina sex isn’t a big deal, right?
How is it already the last Thursday in July? Not only am I completely unprepared for July to be over, but there’s less than an hour left in today for me to write and publish a “thinky” post so I can at least pretend to be sticking to my blog schedule this week. And I’m hoping that maybe there’s a bit of ‘un-sexy but important point about sex’ in my attempt to claw some thoughts together.
I’m currently playing with my vaginal dilators, which is in general a painful but super fascinating adventure. I definitely plan to blog about it more in the future – after all, what’s the point of having a sex blog if you can’t share your tentative steps into putting things into your cunt? Today, however, you get a stream of filthy thoughts directly from my
cuntmind, because my current desire is to feel come dripping out of my cunt.
Vagina therapy – where I’ve been tackling my vaginismus with a trained medical professional – has been a real learning experience. I go into each appointment absolutely filled with anxiety, but learning why my vagina is so emphatically against being penetrated is actually really interesting. My homework has included exploring what turns me on, jerking off, and – as of my last appointment – playing with my vaginal dilators.