I’m a sex nerd: it’s not uncommon for me to be carrying around sex toys (or lube and condoms and wipes) in my bag, whether I’m heading to a sex date, planning a fancy wank in a hotel room, or photographing a butt plug in a specific spot. However, the sex toy I carry around most often is the Rocks Off Ruby Glow, a ride-on vibrator that’s perfect to sit on while writing erotica – because it was designed for that exact purpose.
Content note for brief mention of constipation and pooping. This post contains affiliate links.
I bought a Ruby Glow at Eroticon in 2018, and tested it out as soon as possible – possibly on the train home from London in a very empty carriage. Even though there was no risk of being seen, I still remember the naughty thrill of turning the vibrator on and slipping it under my skirt. Even through my tights, the vibrations were rumbly and more powerful than I expected.
In general, one should not test out new sex toys on the train: this is very much a time when you should do as I say, not as I do. In this case, though, there was no chance of being overheard even in a However, the soft seats absorbed the buzzing of the toy and there was nothing that would have the fact I was sitting on a sex toy apart from my flushed cheeks. If you put the Ruby Glow on a hard surface it will buzz and clatter until you sit on it and start grinding your cunt against its curves and ridges.
It took me a while to work out how to adjust the vibrations as opposed to just squirming on top of the vibrator. When I did work it out, I had fun cycling through the ten settings – three increasing intensities of a steady vibration and seven rumbling patterns. The Ruby Glow has a saddle-style design so it can massage and stimulate the whole vulva, with two independently vibrating pads, one to stimulate the clit, one for the vagina or perineum. Each vibrating pad is turned on and off by a separate button, both on the front of the toy. Press down once, firmly, to turn it on, and press and hold for four or five seconds to turn it off.
The Rocks Off Ruby Glow was designed by the fabulous Tabitha Rayne. It’s portable, non-penetrative, and hands-free, and really is an ingenious sex toy. I fell in love with it the first time I tried it, but since then I’ve also been sent a Ruby Glow Dusk, the updated, dusky purple version of the ride-on vibrator. Both sex toys are 6cm wide and 17cm in length, and beautiful in their bright, body-safe silicone. Its silicone means, of course, that you need to use a water-based lube with the Ruby Glow – which is definitely worth doing, even if it can get a little messy.
The toy is splash proof – not waterproof because it’s battery powered. If you are using it with lube, I’d suggest doing so when naked, but it also works effectively through knickers or other clothes. That’s how I most often use it, especially when I’m sitting at my desk, so I can enjoy the rumbles through my jeans while I write. I haven’t used it in public since my first adventure on the train, but I’d really like to use it during a D/s scene, when my dominant selects the setting for the vibrations and I have to do my best to keep a straight face and pretend I’m not sitting on a sex toy.
I’ve never come while riding it, but I have used it to alleviate cramps when on my period: even through a pad and my knickers the vibrations are soothing. I’ve also found that when I’m feeling slightly constipated, the Ruby Glow’s vibrations help… move things along, so I can poop more easily than I would have otherwise. I think the perineum vibrations are responsible for this, though I find them arousing as well as – at times – practical. In fact, using the Ruby Glow was the first time I paid any attention to my perineum, which I think can be an overlooked erogenous point.
The Ruby Glow isn’t perfect, though as someone with vaginismus the non-penetrative design is perfect for me. It’s also designed to work for folks with reduced mobility, weakness or pain, because it offers powerful vibrations without needing thrusting or to be held in place. However, it’s been advertised as “Good for Disabled People” (though not by Tabitha herself) but it isn’t as accessible everyone would like to claim. The Rocks Off website also advertise it as ‘pleasure for the seated lady’ – continuing their theme of needlessly gendering sex toys – though the The Ruby Glow site itself says (correctly) that it’s designed for “women and vulva owners”.
Having said that the Ruby Glow isn’t perfect, I also have to say that it’s a brilliant and innovative sex toy, and one that’s definitely going to feature in my toy box for a long time – as well as on my desk chair when I’m writing and in my handbag when I’m out and about. The vibrations are perfect for riding while writing erotica – just as Tabitha designed them to be – and it’s helped me get in a squirmy, aroused state to write lots of my favourite pieces of filth.
In fact, I may have sat on it while writing this not-quite-a-review.
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Quinn Rhodes (he/him) is a freelance journalist, sex writer, and professional transsexual. His work focuses on dismantling shame and queering sex.