Tag: sex toy reviews

  • Putting the Hot Octopuss PleX in my arse to get over my broken heart

    Putting the Hot Octopuss PleX in my arse to get over my broken heart

    When I start thinking about them, my chest gets tight and my eyes start smarting. It hurts, and I can’t get away from that pain yet. It’s too raw, too all-consuming. I try not to think about them, because thinking about them feels like someone’s ripping my heart out through my throat. You know when it’s hard to think about your broken heart? When you’ve stuck a massive chunk of silicone in your arse and are trying to work out if it feels good. (Spoiler: it does.) Enter the , a vibrating butt plug.

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  • Socially-distanced fucking: making a Clone-A-Willy fist

    Socially-distanced fucking: making a Clone-A-Willy fist

    A Clone-A-Willy kit sits next to a blue silicone copy of my fist. Photo.

    I’m someone in a long-distance relationship who doesn’t know when I will get to see my partner next due to COVID, and I’m a genderqueer trans masc person who calls their junk their dick. Oh, and I’m dating someone who loves getting fisted. All of this lends itself perfectly me to doing a sexperiment so I could feel closer to my enboifriend – and to fist them for the first time. In this review I’m going to share how I used Clone-A-Willy kits to make a copy of my fist for an incredibly, socially-distanced fuck.

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  • Review: The Butters Hygienics Aloe x Shea lube

    Review: The Butters Hygienics Aloe x Shea lube

    A pot of lube with a turquoise wrapper around it, plus a load of stickers, sits on a yellow sofa. Photo.

    I love reviewing sex toys, but sometimes I forget how bad I am at it until I sit in front of my laptop and I’m expected to fill the screen with my thoughts. Sometimes it’s easy and I can talk about cissexist marketing or how I tested them by squatting over my bed and peeing on my feet, and sometimes I’m left with nothing to say but FUCK THIS IS AWESOME AND YOU SHOULD PUT IT ON YOUR JUNK. In case you can’t tell, this is how I feel about the organic, oil-based Aloe x Shea lube that The Butters Hygienics sent me to review.

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  • Sex toy review: Zumio X

    Sex toy review: Zumio X

    A purple silicone sex toy tapering to a small head sits on a white box that reads 'Zumio' on red sheets. Photo.

    I’ve heard so many good things about Zumio and their SpiroTIP™ technology, so I was super excited when they reached out to me and offered to send me a Zumio X to review myself. However, everything I’ve heard about Zumio suggested that their awesomely designed toys wouldn’t work well for me, because of the kind of clit stim I need to come. While I was kind of right and didn’t have an orgasm with the Zumio X, I still absolutely loved putting it on my junk and had a lot of fun writing this review.

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  • Riding while writing: looking at the Rocks Off Ruby Glow

    Riding while writing: looking at the Rocks Off Ruby Glow

    Two ride-on vibrators, one in pink and one in purple. Photo.

    I’m a sex nerd: it’s not uncommon for me to be carrying around sex toys (or lube and condoms and wipes) in my bag, whether I’m heading to a sex date, planning a fancy wank in a hotel room, or photographing a butt plug in a specific spot. However, the sex toy I carry around most often is the Rocks Off Ruby Glow, a ride-on vibrator that’s perfect to sit on while writing erotica – because it was designed for that exact purpose.

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